Hey, all. Here are some notes from a really great sermon, my Pastor, Khemraj Harranarine of Riverside Church wrote. I think it has much to give on the important work we are doing here as parents. Riverside Church is on 456 King Street East in Toronto. It is a historical landmark building and has been there for 185 + years. It is also my Grandmother Rita's Church. They even have a facebook page. Search "riverside church" on fb. Have a lovely day. p.s. Meeting Tonight: 6;30 pm, Community Centre.... we have much to discuss -the upcoming trip, our advocacy letters to the library, mall and local businesses. See you there. P A R E N T I N G
by Rev. K. Harranarine
Ephesians 6: 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged
I Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools
As a parent we learn patience (1) When our child cries for a bottle when we are in a deep sleep at 3:00 a.m. in the morning. Mom nudges dad, until one eventually awakes to go and look after the needs of their child.
(2) When they take a crayon and write on the wall of your new home, then they come to you and say look mommy, look what I have done, I drew a picture for you…
(3) The day they grow up as a teenager and look at you and saying “Mom or dad you are fat and ugly” in front of your family.
Illustration:- Joanne told her mom, mom look at these gray hairs, in front of her family. Her mother responded with a slap right there.
Be there for your children. Interact with their world. If they love to play, spend time playing with them. When they become teens they will not want to be with you or around you.
Cats in the cradle, tells a story of a father who was too busy to be with his son.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,But we'll get together then.You know we'll have a good time then."
At age ten
My son turned ten just the other day.He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
Well, he came from college just the other day,So much like a man I just had to say,"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"He shook his head, and he said with a smile,"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.See you later. Can I have them please?"
When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,But we'll get together then, dad.You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.I called him up just the other day.I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.It's been sure nice talking to you."And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,He'd grown up just like me.My boy was just like me.
Illustration: King David was a good leader but a poor father. Absalom rebelled against him, 2 Samuel 13:21-29 21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. 23 Two years later, when Absalom's sheepshearers were at Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, he invited all the king's sons to come there. 24 Absalom went to the king and said, "Your servant has had shearers come. Will the king and his officials please join me?" 25 "No, my son," the king replied. "All of us should not go; we would only be a burden to you." Although Absalom urged him, he still refused to go, but gave him his blessing. 26 Then Absalom said, "If not, please let my brother Amnon come with us." The king asked him, "Why should he go with you?" 27 But Absalom urged him, so he sent with him Amnon and the rest of the king's sons. 28 Absalom ordered his men, "Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, 'Strike Amnon down,' then kill him. Don't be afraid. Have not I given you this order? Be strong and brave." 29 So Absalom's men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king's sons got up, mounted their mules and fled.
Rev. 22:12 "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.
God will reward us on that great day of rewards. Reward your children when they do well instead of telling them they should do better.
Reward them when do the things you would like them to do. Rewards acts as motivation for them to do the right thing.
Rewards can come in form of taking them some place they would like to go, money, time with their friends, buying some treats.
Catch them doing something nice and compliment them, homework, clean room, taking out the garbage.
Education is an important value.
Proverbs 7: 1 The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: 2 for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; 3 for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; 4 for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young- 5 let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance- 6 for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. 7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.
Pray with them before they go to school and ask them to pray also.
Try and instill in them at an early age a “god consciousness”.
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
Nurture is an expression of love. Show them you love and care for them.
When is child is not properly nurtured, that child may grow up having attachment issues. Have you ever met someone who is very clingy. Due to the level of insecurity in their growth environment they become too attach to people for want of attention. Emotional stability comes from providing a secure nurturing environment. Only parents can do that.
John Bowlby defined attachment as the affectional tie between two people. It begins with the bond between the infant and mother. This bond becomes internally representative of how the child will form relationships with the world. Bowlby stated "the initial relationship between self and others serves as blueprints for all future relationships." (Bowlby, 1975
It is important for you to understand your child most teachable moments. Chose the right time to instruct them.
Choose the right time to discipline your child. Not when you are angry and you can cause harm. Wait until you have calmed down and they administer discipline.
A direction calling for compliance.
Proverbs 4:1 Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
Proverbs 16:21 the wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction
16: 23: A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction
Proverbs 23:12 Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
We must instruct our children in the ways of the Lord, in other words we must point them in the direction towards the things of God. Instruction is teaching them to do the right thing, it takes patience, time and repetition.
There are times when you have to negotiate some things with your children.
Five critical steps in successful negotiation.
(1) Know the differences. --- Find what you agree on and what you disagree on.
(2) Find out what they really want
(3) Work to find the middle ground, both sides give a little.
(4) Be clear on your expectation.
(5) Time manage – tell your child we are going to do this for 3 months and let us see if it works.
Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"--
Pray for them every day.